"If We Were Gay" is the sixth track on Ninja Sex Party's first album, NSFW. Its music video was released on October 7th, 2010.
Lyrics[]
You know, a lot of people come up to us and say "Hey, Danny Sexbang and Ninja Brian. You guys wear a lot of spandex and live together. Are you gay?" Pfft. I have to laugh. Hahaha! Haha! Could you imagine that? If we were gay? Could you imagine?
A newborn deer runs through a field
A rainbow shines from heaven
A child's smile lights up the room
As Brian blows a dude
A star shoots in from out space
A puppy licks its mother
A ray of sunlight through the trees
As Brian licks a sack
There would be no sadness if we were super gay
Just unicorns and magic if we were super gay
We would all be flying on a tasteful pink duvet
But mostly Brian (Whoa, whoa!)
Mostly Brian's gay
Whooooaaaa! (Brian's gay.) Whooooaaaa!
Here's a list of things that Brian likes to suck:
Dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, balls!
Dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, balls!
One! Two! Balls!
Your dick, my dick, your dick, my dick, your dick, my dick, your dick, my dick!
Your dick, your dick, your dick, your dick, balls!
My balls and dick! Dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick- Oh shit.
[Music Video Exclusive] Ah! Agh! Ugh! Oh! Ouch. Ah! Ugh! Ah! Agh! Ah! Ah! Oh... Dick... Ah... Unnecessary second poison dart...
Music video credits[]
Cast[]
- Dan Avidan - Danny Sexbang
- Brian Wecht - Ninja Brian
- Tracey Petrillo - Unknown role
- Shamikah Christina Martinez - Unknown role
- Mark Peterson - Unknown role
- Morgan Goldin - Unknown role
- Ruth Schwartz - Granny Sexbang
- Gay Ninjas - Tortilla, Guapo Futuristico
Production[]
- Director - Jim Turner
- 1st AD - Mark Peterson
- Production assistants - Mark Goldin, David "GunShow" Cowles, Mark Peterson
- Disco lighting technician - David "GunShow" Cowles
Trivia[]
- In the music video:
- Danny dressing up as a newborn deer would later be possibly referenced in "Danny Don't You Know", where he sings about walking like a newborn deer during childhood.
- Princess Tinkles appears.
- Ruth Schwartz, AKA Granny Sexbang, appears for the first time, her second time being "Attitude City".
- The Dannequin is killed in Danny's place.
- Danny has no victims.
- Ninja Brian has no living victims.
External Links[]
Watch If We Were Gay on YouTube