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If We Were Gay is the sixth track on Ninja Sex Party's first album, NSFW. Its music video was released on October 7th, 2010.

LyricsEdit

You know, a lot of people come up to us and say "Hey, Danny Sexbang and Ninja Brian. You guys wear a lot of spandex and live together. Are you gay?" Pfft. I have to laugh. Hahaha haha! Could you imagine that? If we were gay? Could you imagine?

A newborn deer runs through a field

A rainbow shines from heaven

A child's smile lights up the room

As Brian blows a dude

A star shoots in from out space

A puppy licks its mother

A ray of sunlight through the trees

As Brian licks a sack

There would be no sadness if we were super gay

Just unicorns and magic if we were super gay

We would all be flying on a tasteful pink duvet

But mostly Brian (whoa, whoa)

Mostly Brian's gay

Whooooaaaa! Brian's gay. Whooooaaaa!

Here's a list of things that Brian likes to suck:

Dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, balls!

Dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, balls!

One! Two! Balls!

Your dick, my dick, your dick, my dick, your dick, my dick, your dick, my dick!

Your dick, your dick, your dick, your dick, balls!

My balls and dick! Dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick- Oh shit.

Ah! Agh! Ugh! Oh! Ouch. Ah! Ugh! Ah! Agh! Ah! Ah! Oh... Dick... Ah... Unnecessary second poison dart...

Music video creditsEdit

CastEdit

Dan Avidan - Danny Sexbang

Brian Wecht - Ninja Brian

Tracey Petrillo - Unknown role

Shamikah Christina Martinez - Unknown role

Mark Peterson - Unknown role

Morgan Goldin - Unknown role

Ruth Schwartz - Granny Sexbang

Gay Ninjas - Tortilla, Guapo Futuristico

ProductionEdit

Director - Jim Turner

1st AD - Mark Peterson

Production assistants - Mark Goldin, David "GunShow" Cowles, Mark Peterson

Disco lighting technician - David "GunShow" Cowles

TriviaEdit

  • In the music video:
    • Danny dressing up as a newborn deer would later be possibly referenced in Danny Don't You Know, where he sings about walking like a newborn deer during childhood.
    • Princess Tinkles appears.
    • Ruth Schwartz, AKA Granny Sexbang, appears for the first time.
    • The Dannequin is killed in Danny's place.
    • Danny has no victims.
    • Ninja Brian has no living victims.