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Next to You is the fifth track on Ninja Sex Party's second album, Strawberries and Cream.

LyricsEdit

We'd been friends for many years until I finally confessed

That I've always loved you dearly, but you were unimpressed

If I can never be your lover, I'll accept out destiny

And embrace your gift of friendship as I jack off constantly

Oh! I'll be there to lift you when you fall

With one arm around your shoulder and the other on my balls

Ooh! If you need me, you just have to call

Cause I'll be next to you, masturbating!

1, 2, 3, let's do it

Through the good times and the bad, I will do everything I can

Like if you ever need help moving, I can jerk off in the van

If your car breaks on the road, I'll grab my crank and pick you up

And we will drive away together as I lotion up my junk

Oh! It doesn't matter where our lives will lead us

I will always stand beside you, both in spirit and in penis

Ooh! Excuse me, but I have to go dry clean this

Cause I've been next to you, masturbating!

Look, I know this may seem weird, but it's not. Every friendship I've ever had has been like this. You should know that I'm not doing this for myself. It's partly for you. But most of all, I'm doing this for America.

Oh! Tell me everything that's in your heart

This is Claire, we're gonna make out - you just go ahead and start

If it escalated to boning, it means I'm listening super hard

Cause I'll be next to you... Hoo-oo!

Oh, wait! Claire brought a friend, we're gonna have a threesome

And a crowd of people's gathered to watch me bang both her and Lisa

Ooh! Once this is done, you and I are getting pizza

Cause I'll be next to you, masturbating!

Slash having a threesome with Claire. But still masturbating.

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