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The Ninja Sex Party timeline is a nebulous and controversial topic. This page attempts to piece it together using evidence from the albums, the music videos, and other sources.

Sometime after 155,000,000 BC Edit

  • Supposedly, Stegosaurus, Tyrannosaurus, robots, sharks, and Martians have a laser fight and a laser party. Danny and Brian were in attendance, likely using the time machine they used in 6969.[1][2]

5000 BC Edit

Superpuma kills a caveman while fighting Rhinoceratops.[3]

2016-08-19

"Peppermint Cream, since 186"

186 AD Edit

  • Peppermint Creams are invented.[4]

1100 AD Edit

1200 AD Edit

  • Superpuma kills a knight while fighting Rhinoceratops.[3]

1600 AD Edit

  • Danny and Ninja Brian are born. They both wear their iconic outfits as infants.[5]

C. 1613 AD Edit

  • Danny most likely has his Bar Mitzvah.[6]

1635 AD Edit

  • Brian has a "celebrity-filled 35th birthday party held on international waters on a chartered yacht captained by supermodels".[7]

1825 AD Edit

  • Obiwan Kablowme is born.[4]

1937 AD Edit

  • Danny ninja-thrusts so hard that he causes the Hindenburg disaster.[8]

Sometime between 1937 and 1978 AD Edit

  • Danny trades his traditional blue spandex for a the black garb of a ninja, becoming "Ninja Danny".[5][8]

1945 AD Edit

  • The 1st Annual Boning Convention is held.[9][10]

1974 AD Edit

April 9th, 1974 Edit

1977 AD Edit

  • Obiwan Kablowme dies and is buried in the Spooky Ass Graveyard.[4]

1978 AD Edit

  • Ninja Danny murders somebody, while having a large afro.[8]

1982 AD Edit

  • The Commodore 64 is "born".[4]

1986 AD Edit

  • Ninja Danny murders somebody, while wearing a Metallica shirt and a mullet.[8]

1994 AD Edit

  • Ninja Danny murders somebody, while wearing a sweatshirt tied around his waist.[8]
  • The Commodore 64 "dies".[4]

1997 AD Edit

  • Danny and the Manticore go to Manticore Prom together.[13]

2001 AD Edit

Post-September 11th, 2011 Edit

  • In New York City, Ninja Danny abandons his ways and become a lustful dancer once more.[8][14]
Brian Newspaper

Brian reading the 9/14/2010 issue of Greater New York

2010 AD Edit

  • Danny supposedly wins the NYC Penis Competition.[15]

September 14th, 2010 Edit

  • Danny accuses Brian of being gay.[16][17]
  • Danny and Brian meet The Gay Ninjas.[16]
  • In retaliation for being called gay, Brian shoots Danny with a poison dart, causing him to fall down a cliff, and be shot with an "unnecessary second poison dart".[16]

C. 2009 AD Edit

Autumn, 2009 Edit

  • Danny makes a leaf-collecting album.[18]

Winter, 2009 Edit

  • Danny and Brian throw a "Ninja Sex Party Party", feat. Shalom on the Range.[18][19]
  • Ninja Brian explodes a building with his mind, likely killing everyone but himself and Dan.[18]

C. 2010 AD Edit

March, 2010 Edit

  • Danny lies to Kristen about the Sacred Chalice, in order to get a blowjob. He fails.[20][21]

2011 AD Edit

  • Danny wins a Fake Trophy Competition.[15]

October 31st, 2011 Edit

  • Danny and Brian show off their skills.[22][23]

2013 AD Edit

  • Superpuma kills Justin Bieber while fighting Rhinoceratops.[3]
  • Rhinoceratops and Superpuma destroy the country of France, including the Eiffel Tower.[3]
  • Rhinoceratops urinates on Cuba.[3]
  • During Rhinoceratops and Superpuma's battle, 1,000,000 people die.[3]
  • Superpuma and Rhinoceratops end their "giant-ass war" when Danny and Brian rock so hard that Rhinoceratops and Superpuma begins to have sex with eachother.[3]

2014 AD Edit

  • Danny makes a time machine and a rocket ship.[24][25]
  • Danny and Brian travel to 6969 AD.[24]

September 2014 Edit

  • Danny gets a girlfriend and they date for a few weeks.[9]
  • Danny and his girlfriend go to Boner Prom 3000.[9]

Cocktober 2014 Edit

  • Brian and Danny supposedly go on a road trip, world tour, then a space trip of boning. Dan supposedly dies in space, but came back to life.[9][26][27]

Late 2014 Edit

  • The 69th Annual Boning Convention, featuring Ninja Sex Party and Steel Panther, is held.[9][28]

2015 AD Edit

February 1st, 2015 Edit

Post-February, 2015 Edit

  • Danny supposedly cures all diseases.[29]
  • Brian kills Danny's patient.[29]

One Week Later Edit

  • Danny unsuccessfully hits on a girl, by claiming to have slain a dragon.[29]

After "Dragon Slayer" Edit

Spring, 2015 Edit

  • Danny unsuccessfully hits on a girl.[31]
  • Danny, Brian, 'Tude Bro, and 'Tude Dude defeat some thugs.[31]

2112 AD Edit

2016-08-19 (2)

February, 2112 AD Edit

  • The Earth catches on fire.[35]
  • Danny Sexbang takes of moniker of the "Unicorn Wizard.[35]
  • Brian kills a mugger.[35]
  • Brian is dubbed "Princess Handjob".[35]

Sometime Between the 22nd Century and 6969 AD Edit

  • The Council of Dick Elders takes control of Earth.[24]
  • Human touch is outlawed on Earth.[24]

6969 AD Edit

Spring, 6969 Edit

  • Danny and Brian arrive on Earth after time traveling.[24]
  • A billion-person orgy takes place.[24]
  • The Dick Elders are killed by Brian.[24]

c. 10,302,000 AD Edit

  • "Danny awoke on the surface of Gropinius IV in the #Butt system. Robot Brian was asleep on top of him, his metal mouth surrounding Danny's still-erect and still-not-very-impressive dick."[7]
  • Daniel Y. Sexbang, dies at the age of about 10,300,400 years old.[7]
  • Danny's death results in the extinction of the human race.[7]

References Edit

  1. "Dinosaur Laser Fight"
  2. Note: T-Rexes did not exist in 155 Million years ago
  3. 3.0 3.1 3.2 3.3 3.4 3.5 3.6 "Rhinoceratops vs. Superpuma"
  4. 4.0 4.1 4.2 4.3 4.4
    "Peppermint Creams"
  5. 5.0 5.1 5.2 5.3 "Samurai Abstinence Patrol"
  6. Note: Danny is Jewish and was born in the year 1600, and according to Wikipedia: "According to Jewish law, when Jewish boys become 13 years old, they become accountable for their actions and become a bar mitzvah."
  7. 7.0 7.1 7.2 7.3 The Beej by Ninja Brian
  8. 8.0 8.1 8.2 8.3 8.4 8.5 "I Just Want To (Dance)"
  9. 9.0 9.1 9.2 9.3 9.4 "Road Trip"
  10. Note: The 69th Annual Boning Convention was held in 2014 (see below), 2014 - 69 = 1945
  11. "Everybody Shut Up (I Have an Erection)"
  12. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Nixon#Resignation
  13. "Manticore"
  14. Note: The NYC skyline in the music video for "I Just Want To (Dance)" indicates that it is set post-9/11.
  15. 15.0 15.1 "FYI I Wanna F Your A"
  16. 16.0 16.1 16.2 "If We Were Gay"
  17. Note: Brian is seen reading the September 14th, 2010 issue of Greater New York (source)
  18. 18.0 18.1 18.2 "Let's Get This Terrible Party Started!"
  19. Note: The Angry Birds hat and the Dungeons and Dragons: Forgotten Realms Campaign Guide are both contemporary with 2009
  20. "The Sacred Chalice"
  21. Note: A calendar in Dan's room says it's March
  22. "NSP Theme Song"
  23. Note: Brian is seen reading the October 31st, 2011 edition of the New York Post
  24. 24.0 24.1 24.2 24.3 24.4 24.5 24.6 "6969"
  25. Note: Their rocket is later seen in "Road Trip". They're shown to be familiar with it, but it's still relevantly new since they apparently used it enough for Dan not to know he would die.
  26. Note: A calendar displays "Cocktober, 2014". The One World Trade Center (completed in 2013) is shown in the New York City scene.
  27. Note: "Road Trip"must take place prior to "Rhinoceratops vs. Superpuma", because an intact Eiffel Tower is seen during "Road Trip"
  28. Note: A calendar displays "Cocktober, 2014". Steel Panther asking if NSP "had a good year of boning" implies that the convention is taking place late in the same year
  29. 29.0 29.1 29.2 29.3 "Dragon Slayer"
  30. Note: The Minecraft backdrop could only be created with a texture of Iron Blocks, which were not introduced until November 18th, 2011 (source). The Patriots have only won one Super Bowl since 2011, Super Bowl XLIX (source).
  31. 31.0 31.1 31.2 "Attitude City"
  32. Note: Danny is seen with a "So Tuff" tattoo on his right bicep. His right bicep is seen in "Dragon Slayer", but no tattoo or post-removal scar is seen. This places "Attitude City" farther ahead in the timeline.
  33. "Why I Cry"
  34. Note: Footage from Dan's battle with the Awesome Karate Bears is shown in a theater
  35. 35.0 35.1 35.2 35.3 "Unicorn Wizard"

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